5 Confessions About Mom Life You Never Tell Anyone

Yes, sometimes as a mom you simply have to improvise. Unplanned things happen all the time, and you have to fix them right away. Like that explosive diaper your little one decided to produce while you were sitting on your in-laws’ brand-new couch, or that time you went to the toilet for just a second and your toddler decided to ride the baby like a pony through the living room. You laugh about these hilarious moments at the dinner table, but… there are also a few things you don’t share with anyone.

1. Oh, did he call? I didn’t hear a thing!
Some babies are champion sleepers from six weeks on, leaving you wondering what your friends are even talking about when they complain about being exhausted. But then there are the bad sleepers — or rather, tiny night owls — who have mastered the art of waking up exactly when you’ve just fallen asleep. Pure torture. They’re thirsty, they need a cuddle, or they simply want to snuggle in your bed. After what feels like the 376th consecutive night where you seem to be the only one in the house hearing your baby cry, you nudge your partner and say it’s their turn — you’ve supposedly already gotten up three times. Hey, you deserve a full night’s sleep too sometimes.

2. You used to cringe at this — now you do it yourself
Remember when you were little, visiting grandma, eating chocolate, and your grandma wiped your face with her own spit? Disgusting, right? Well… it happens. Before you even realize what you’re doing. You’re walking to daycare, newborn in the car seat on one arm, diaper bag over your shoulder, and your toddler holding your other hand — the same toddler who had to have chocolate spread on his bread this morning. You glance at him before walking in and see those chocolatey corners of his mouth. You clean it up quickly — because no way is he going inside like that — and yep, you did exactly what you used to find gross. Oops.

3. Honestly… you’re just too tired for this
Reading bedtime stories… sounds amazing, right? Your kids freshly bathed, smelling wonderful in their pajamas, holding their favorite stuffed animals, snuggled up next to you, their chubby little hand on your leg, listening to a magical story. Unfortunately, reality isn’t always that picture-perfect. Your oldest is busy perfecting her somersault, your toddler has the attention span of a goldfish and is already holding the next book, and your newborn, who was just asleep, is now screaming the house down. So yes, storytime might get cut a little short — those promised 10 minutes easily turn into 3.

4. No sweetheart, I have no idea where your slime went
This one… you have to experience to understand. Kids all have their favorite toys — makes sense. But why do they never prefer those beautiful Pinterest-worthy wooden blocks you bought for €100 at that trendy concept store? Instead, they’re obsessed with clay (who invented that stuff?) or worse… slime. After scraping dried bits of clay off the floor for the tenth time and peeling slime off your freshly painted ceiling — leaving stains, of course — you’ve had enough. Both mysteriously “disappear” into the trash can.

5. Wow honey, that was such a beautiful song
Your daughter loves putting on shows — the full performance package. Dancing, gymnastics, theatrical acts — but her favorite? Singing. And while she has many talents… let’s just say singing isn’t one of them. Honestly, two cats fighting sounds better than what comes out of her mouth. Still, after every performance, you clap like a proud mom and tell her how beautifully she sang. Because yes, that’s what moms do.